So it seems I’ve taken over the ship.

October 2019

IMG_0176        I had a dream.

One of those intense dreams that you know you need to pay attention to.

I was on a space ship, like in the Star Trek series, with hundreds of thousands of people on board.

I am looking at the captain’s area where the leaders all have their designated seats.

I can’t see their faces, but they seem to be all male gendered and are dressed in matching grey sweats and hoodies with emblems on them. They sit slouched and look bored.

One is snapping his fingers, arm semi raised, expecting someone, possibly myself, to jump to attention and serve him.

I walk in and berate them for being so useless and then I fire them by informing them that I am, as of now, taking over the ship. I tell them to F OFF from the seats and find something they can manage to do without messing up. ‘You are done here.” I tell them.

The other people are shocked and one young guy nervously turns to me mid task and says “We can do that? We can just take over?”

“Why not?” I reply. “It’s our ship as much as theirs, more so ours because we do all the work to keep it running.”

“Wow. I never thought of that.”

I see a kind of wonder or joy cross his face and there is a general air of excitement and a hum of voices as they all realize what has just happened.

A group come over to me standing there amoung the now vacant driver seats and hesitantly ask about security. They tell me their concerns about other ships that the x-leaders may call in to take back the ship and should we load missiles to be ready.

I tell them that I may have taken over the ship but that I will not be in control of it. We all will and we will need to learn to make decisions together. ‘But what if” I add, “What if we just tell the people on the other ships what we have done on ours and they can take over theirs too. We all know they are in the same mess we are in here.”

There is laughter in response, the good kind…”Of course! No one wants to put up with this shit anymore.”

I hear chatter as the group walks away. “My cousin is first officer on the (garbled name of a ship). She would be so into doing this.”

“Ya I know some dudes that would totally be behind non hostile takeover on their gig.”

There is also talk of how to dismantle the weapons systems, strategies for doing it together with all the ships ‘on board’. Ideas of how to make the war components work as energy systems instead. They’ve got this.

Another guy comes up to me, all fellow-conspirator like. He tells me, (and I see the images as he speaks), about a chest that he says is buried outside of my yurt in non dream time. He shows me it is filled with all kinds of colourful boots. Elaborate boots, some with full on curled up toes like elf or gnome boots, fill the chest and he wants to distribute these boots so people will know who’s who or something. Some kind of elaborate hilarious uniform thing.

I have no idea what this is about but I tell him “I took over the ship but I am not the boss”, so if he feels he needs to do this then go for it! “Consensus leadership from now on OK?” I remind him.

It is clear to me I don’t want the responsibility of making decisions for others and feel the need to make this known from the get go. Everyone has to be responsible for their own contribution here and I need to trust that we each can find where we fit in running this ship together.

Bees can do that, switching jobs when they get bored, moving in and out of tasks… we can borrow that system of job share without needing a queen bee. I had understood that the queen really just holds the patterns of organization that the other bees work within. More like an offering and re making of herself with all that royal jelly to be a kind of telepathic relay system that supports all the bees in the hive. In our case, ‘Earth-ship’ holds those patterns directly for us. She is queen bee. We don’t need a human one.

It is also clear to me that what I am really saying to the guy is… “Go ahead. If this is important to you and others, Go ahead! Fill your boots!

Next I seem to be walking through the ship, poking into all the ‘restricted’ places.

One door I open leads to a room filled with screens. I see hundreds of faces staring into the screens. There are markers on the eyes and around the eyes, the mouth lines, around the nose and temples. I realize these are people reading something on their personal computers, pads and phones. I realize it is a memo sent out from the old bosses and the markers are registering the emotional responses to what they are reading. I understand that this info is being processed and filed for all personnel on board and I am pissed!

I want to start pulling wires but decide I should ask people in the tech department to come in here and get rid of this system on board. Take it apart and flush the invasive personal info from the system.

Somehow folks are now swarming through the room in outrage, yet looking at how they could make the system in place work for the people. Better, clearer communication between people, or easier lines of communication.. it is a sophisticated system and they don’t want to waste it. Clear agreement is made to destroy all the illicit information stored on each person. There is agreement to purge the system and they all get busy doing just that, while sending out info to the other ships to look for these systems installed on their ships.

I don’t remember much more, just a feeling of everyone’s sense of excitement and a buzz of activity as everyone gets to work repairing the mess and putting the plans so many have been thinking about in place in each area of the ship.

Some people want to come to me with their ideas possibly for permission or approval, and I instead organize rooms they can meet in with others interested in or affected by the plans they want to implement.

Meeting rooms are assigned, topics and times for meet up are posted on everyone’s devices so people can show up if they feel they want to be part of that work team.

There is real excitement in the air and a sense of other ships gathering around us. There is a sharing between ships of how we all are doing, what ideas are working and a camaraderie that we had not experienced before, but were obviously hungry for!

It is, we realize, just an old, worn out, oppressive system reaching it’s inevitable end and we all know this. Even many of those who had been in leadership positions know this is inevitable. Overall, it is a sense of relief. but a few are like F YOU! We’ll take control again! Sulking in their cabins over a few scotch.

Some are like, “Good. Can I just go home now please”, like they had been putting in time until retirement and are glad to be gone. They are given shuttles to leave and go back to wherever they came from. In fact anyone too tired or uninterested in continuing on here are given transport back to where they really want to be.

Some are genuinely interested in being part of a new way and ask for help in retraining themselves to think differently. Entire teams of socially interested ‘therapists’ have been setting up ‘deprograming workshops’ and people are signing up from all over the ship.

An image of old cobwebs, as thick as halloween ghost fabric is blowing away in playful winds, or being swept off with enormous brooms. These images run like a backdrop in the dream-scape until we can clearly see the patterns that have been there underneath, all along.

They are like vibrant red, orange and yellow underground root systems, bright white and purple light mycelium nervous systems and veins of gold, quartz of every colour and other minerals that are woven purposefully throughout the planet… which is also all the ships I have realized partway through the dream. Even where trees have been clear cut and the earth cut open, drilled and mined, there is still vibrant life running through the veins and we can see this clearly as the old fabric is cleared away. It’s not as bad as we all thought and in fact seems to be re-energizing with our excitement, which just adds to the hope that is billowing up in our part of the universe.

Our biggest challenge is that we do not trust each other.

There is a fear that a small contingent will try to take over again. A deeply embedded belief that humans are at base evil and that it will soon revert to the old way. An engineered imprint that we cannot trust ourselves or each other is obvious and pervasive.

I realize the biggest obstacle we will face is our imprints of self hatred that have been deeply imbedded through religion, political systems and the experience of many generations, depending on our lineages. I have to trust that the codes and patterns the earth holds will be strong and vibrant enough once we start connecting to them instead of the cobweb fibres, strong enough to hold us in a steady flow of life. I have to trust my fellow humans to reconnect to real life and agree to start working together as a diverse team. I have to trust the earth. She knows what we need to do to be a healthy system of humans on this planet, after all, she has been dealing with us since we first started incarnating here.

Clear the cobwebs of illusion. Reconnect to the real earth.

We have taken over the ship of humanity and now we need to learn how to sustain it and care for it.

Busy time ahead for all of us who want to stay on board.

Ashes to Ashes

It is January 2018 and I am cozied up by the fire during a deep freeze that has parts of my country ‘colder than Mars’, or so they gleefully tell us on the news.

It occurs to me again that being in a physical body is a lot of work. Keeping warm, fed and sheltered, and being entertained while we attend to those daily tasks occupy much of our lives.

I am acutely aware of how I spend my time.

Those of us privileged with moments of rest can read or meditate, we can notice the stars and the frosted trees in the morning light. We can pay attention to the world around us.

If we are afforded beautiful words and ideas bequest by those rare wise souls who have walked among us, we can delight in their poetry, songs and stories, and appreciate that they had the time and support to leave us these offerings.It is a shame how rare time to do nothing is these days.

All of our ancestors, when not held in slavery or trapped in the upheaval of earthquake, fire or war, had the winter months or the rainy seasons to share stories and ideas; time to think and dream, create cuisine, objects of art, song and dance.

This is a luxury so many on the planet no longer seem to have available to them.

I have always felt that the art and music of a society or time period tells us that the basic needs were met for all, and there was ‘time’ to think, learn and create.

Every culture made it’s own art, stories, songs and foods with a diversity of colour and pattern as varied as the landscapes they each thrived within, and I hope history will know of us by the beauty we create and not our destruction.

I was reflecting, by that warm fire, on a quote by a great master teacher and poet that I share a birthday with, a man I would have loved to meet and perhaps will, now that he has gone back through the crack that is in everything.

Master Leonard Cohen once said: 

”Poetry is just the evidence of life.If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash.

For days that quote tumbled around my brain polishing the raw edges of ideas and concepts. Leonard Cohen had written some of the most brilliantly beautiful lines of social commentary of all time in my opinion, and his words often send me off into deep contemplation.

I realize I had spent far too much of my life trying to shape meaning from the little piles of ashes around me, trying to make them say something of value, perhaps some legacy or remembering to leave behind when I too, flow back through the crack.

I too often hurry through the fire looking for it to ‘produce’ something worthwhile. 

I notice how easily the ashes blow away, profound thoughts and ‘aha’ moments that are soon forgotten and are meaningless to others. The ash bears little resemblance to the fire that made them.

What is important is that sacred fire of burning consciousness.

“And who by fire, who by water,
Who in the sunshine, who in the night time,
Who by high ordeal, who by common trial,
Who in your merry merry month of may,
Who by very slow decay,
And who shall I say is calling? ”  Leonard Cohen. Who By Fire

We have choice, it is us who do the calling.
Finding the passion, noticing what burns, what parts of life have embers glowing, this is what is important. What causes change, nourishes, what makes an end to suffering, what warms and comforts the soul?

I thought of all the things a fire can bring, curled up in front of it’s winter’s blaze this cold grey morning, and I also thought of it’s destructive nature. When things go wrong and fire is not contained or looked after carefully enough, it can burn you right up. I have seen this happen to many people when they have flown too close to the flame without care.

Fire is the primal alchemist with it’s ability to transform and create. It forges metal and makes glass from sand, sturdy objects from clay, melts gold, transforms food and yet it can with the same power, reduce almost anything to ash.

There are whole species of plants and trees that require hot fire to propagate, forests which rely on fire as part of their life cycles.

Lightning and Lava, the fires of earth and sky, the spark of creativity and passion, the sacred fires of life light our way and shape our world, if we are paying proper attention.

I see all this, and yet, here I am playing in the ashes, putting form to what remains of this morning’s flames.

Whether words or actions, art or music, everything that we do once incarnate is a reflection of what we’re paying attention to. It is all we really have, our attention and time. Where there is fire, there is creation. I want to pay my attention to the fire, but am often distracted by the ashes.

How do I change a lifetime of habit, generations of imprint embedded in my psyche?

”Yes you who must leave everything that you cannot control.
It begins with your family, but soon it comes around to your soul.

I’ve been where you’re hanging, I think I can see where you’re pinned                       When you’re not feeling holy, your loneliness says that you’ve sinned”                                          Leonard Cohen, Sisters of Mercy

The places that we’re pinned; our systemic believe systems, dysfunctional societal patterns, our fear of not fitting in, all the spells we are under that dictate destructive patterns throughout humans being in every culture on this Earth, are holding us in past mistakes.

The layers are deep and a very few humans can find their way to the surface to draw breath. If those who have broken through leave their mark in the ashes, we may find our way. It takes excruciating personal work to emerge consciousness and awareness. One must be willing to heal to break free. One must also be willing to separate to break free.

You were not born bad. You are not, at base, a wicked sinner, and neither am I. 
This is one of the sticky lines of the web, the separation and isolation of ‘self’ from spirit. How can you feel holy if you believe you are judged a sinner by some patriarchal god in the sky? How can you know you are divine if you judge yourself by these bogus standards?

Most of us are descendants of a colonized society; even the settlers who came over to North America to steal and colonized these lands did exactly the same thing to the Peoples here that was done to their ancestors when Rome conquered and laid it’s patriarchal legacy upon the survivors across the sea.

The same patterns of genocide and control of women, food and land came into play wherever these sticky threads of colonialism wormed their way in to once balanced societies. 

 Wave after wave, imperialism with it’s misogyny and ideas of racial superiority imprinted it’s mark with intentional starvation, war and rape. The witches, mystics and shamans, really anyone who connected with spirit and earth, were brutally tortured, exterminated or outcast, a practice that continues everywhere today.

We know DNA is imprinted through trauma, damaged you could say, and that this is passed on through Mother and Father. Generations of descendants from every part of the planet carry guilt, shame and horror deeply imprinted from the hell inflicted on every person enslaved, tortured, disenfranchised or oppressed.
We know now the kinds of illnesses this causes, including addiction and deteriorating mental health, and how this is hereditary.

“Everybody knows that the dice are loaded
Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed
Everybody knows that the war is over
Everybody knows that the good guys lost
Everybody knows the fight was fixed
The poor stay poor, the rich get rich
That’s how it goes
Everybody knows
Everybody knows that the boat is leaking
Everybody knows that the captain lied
Everybody got this broken feeling
Like their father or their dog just died.”  Leonard Cohen. Everybody Knows

Perhaps it is time to start taking apart the webs that have been holding us in destructive patterns and recognize where we are each pinned, according to our ancestral and societal patterning and personal belief systems that so often reinforce these old destructive patterns. We can see evidence of this shift throughout the world as people once silenced begin to cry out.

The Council of Elders, my teachers, once said we would soon enough see ‘the skeletons come out of the closets and dance’ and it sure looks like we are there. Just as cancer and deadly viruses and bacteria thrive because the immune system does not recognize it as a problem, without seeing ‘where we are pinned’ as a society, how can we free ourselves?

We need to recognize that we as humans have entered a perilous state on this planet with imminent destruction on every horizon no matter where we cast our gaze. We did this, ourselves. We need to look at how we got here.

Our kids are suffering anxiety and have the highest suicide rates ever heard of, and many do not believe in a future anymore. Our society is corrupt and there is little faith in good governance or even in education or science. This is what we have created and this is what we must heal.

It is hard to look at ourselves as humans right now. Many I listen to feel that humans do not deserve a chance for life on earth, and all we need to do is watch the news to witness how many groups of people seem to be welcoming a complete Armageddon.

Our culture has built weapons that can blow up the entire planet rendering all species extinct within a day, and there are demented fingers on some powerful buttons right now.

We continue to pollute and pump more oil out of the ground and into the air despite the overwhelming evidence of the earth’s entire scientific community that we have already caused irreparable damages to our delicate weather system with all that carbon, and although we are living in the aftermath already, that has not abated our greed for oil and gas.

We poison our land and water as well as our air. As we breathe, eat and drink the poisons we are dying by the millions of horrid diseases that have never been seen in human populations at this scale, ever.

If this is not a reflection of self-hatred and self-destruction I don’t know what is. We need to change our ways.

“It’s coming from the sorrow in the street
The holy places where the races meet
From the homicidal bitchin’
That goes down in every kitchen
To determine who will serve and who will eat.” Leonard Cohen. Democracy

Even to eat, to keep our bellies full, we wreck such havoc here. Factory farms, methane producers for fast food burger joints, clear cutting, slash and burn and the horrific slavery of animals and humans yoked together to grow the grocery stores of food required by an ever gluttinous population of food hoarders.

As we gorge ourselves obese here in the west, other continents host starving populations of displaced misery, waiting for aid that never comes as they produce their ‘luxury foods’ for exotic tastes. We all know it is out of balance as we watch mountains of food thrown away in every city where people go hungry. We are out of balance.

Magnified, sanctified, be thy holy name
Vilified, crucified, in the human frame
A million candles burning for the help that never came
You want it darker
We kill the flame.”  Leonard Cohen. You Want It Darker

I began thinking about the trees and my relationship to them.
There has been plenty of research in the past few decades substantiating the wisdom the Druids and all Earth centred peoples have always known; the forests are alive. They have wisdom and knowledge and vast networks of communication systems. They are a community of beings, amidst communities of beings.

Just google ‘tree communication’ and you will find pages of references to studies and documentaries that have reached the same conclusions; there are greater forces at work here in the forest than main stream society understands.

There is an intelligence, a compassion and caring that is far-seeing and far-reaching. Long term decision-making and rebalancing whenever anything gets out of harmony is evidenced. There is sentience in nature, a profound and aware web of life of which we humans are meant to be part.

”Sleep baby sleep
The day’s on the run
The wind in the trees
Is talking in tongues”  Leonard Cohen. Lullaby’s

I was thinking about fruit and nut trees and how they once lived as part of a diverse society of forest and how they adapted to help humans. Planted along roadways and around villages, they fed generations of people, as well as birds, insects and other animals.

I imagine them honoured, cared for and respected; celebrated at blossom time and revered at harvest time. I imagine how some people had, and some orchard keepers still do, beautiful relationships with these tree beings and how much that has changed in the last couple of generations.

The trees that lived as communities and ecosystems forever on this planet, long, long before humans ever existed, these forests of diverse community with their intricate communications and resolution systems, they are as The Council have told us, the most spiritually evolved of all earth species. They look after the whole planet.

And we, in our arrogance and imprinted belief that we hold dominion over earth, we captured the trees that we liked, the trees that we wanted to grow our food for us, make paper and lumber for us, and we hold them captive, away from their ecosystems, in monotonous rows upon rows. We spray them with toxic chemicals, prune their branches and never let them grow old.

We truck bees that we’ve taken from their wildness, from their magical places up in hollow trees and we truck them place to place to place in prison boxes where we clip the wings of their queens after forcing their creation.

We have interrupted the vast network of life on this planet, because we have forgotten our fire. We have been playing in the ashes, so caught up in our work’a’day world, our illusionary, destructive reality that we have forgotten what is vital and important to life’s very survival. Our deceptive worlds of stock markets and factories and the shopping malls where we spend all that hard-earned money on useless junk for our ever-growing landfill sites, that is what holds our attention.

“Seven to eleven is a huge chunk of life, full of dulling and forgetting. It is fabled that we slowly lose the gift of speech with animals, that birds no longer visit our windowsills to converse. As our eyes grow accustomed to sight they armour themselves against wonder.” Leonard Cohen

We have to change this. We’ve created an unhealthy way of farming that is just adding to the destruction of so many species of beings, all for our massively wasteful feeding frenzy. We mine and drill and pillage the earth, holding whole civilizations in slavery to produce more stuff to put on our shelves. We cannot keep up with it on this fragile planet. 

There are just too many of us alive to be able to live in harmony as part of such an intricate and delicate ecosystem.

I worry about that, as I have four children and grandchildren too and I, like all grandparents, want nothing but the best for their futures. Yet at the same time, I am painfully aware that our very existence in such numbers is destroying a healthy future for them.

It’s such a hard reality to look at and I try to come up with solutions, like the one child policy in China, volunteer sterilization, each country making a goal of population reduction for coming generations until we are back in balance. 
I imagine how each culture and country could begin planning for a smaller future, to scale down this explosive and unsustainable growth.

I imagine if all the societal pressures for procreation are nullified and we are educated to look at our impulses, we would find that not everyone even wants to be a parent. I am betting if only those that really, really want to do this, not for economic or social gain, but because that is their calling, our population would stabilize within a few generations.

I am loving the minimalist and de-cluttering movement I see in the younger generations, the tiny house communities and cooperative living arrangements. I am heartened by the many, many young people who are choosing to be aunts, uncles and foster parents rather than procreate. They give me glimmers of hope.

”Magnified, sanctified, be thy holy name
Vilified, crucified, in the human frame
A million candles burning for the help that never came
You want it darker
We kill the flame”  Leonard Cohen. You Want it Darker

Then I think about the cultures that forbid women to have the right to decide procreation and wonder what kind of idiotic ideals we are holding to and in USA returning back to? Fundamentalist religions encouraging their followers to have as many children as possible, as young as possible in an effort to control the resources with their ‘chosen’ lineage seems like insanity in the context of our planet’s ecosystem.

I think about how cynics call for war and disease to take out the ‘excess lives’ and am grossly aware that it is the poor and displaced they are thinking of ‘taking out’. I also know this has gone on throughout human history, the killing off of the excess population. If the unwanted could not be shipped somewhere to colonize or be used as soldiers or workers, they were starved or killed with disease, the few survivors left to addiction and poverty with nowhere to go. 

It feels hopeless, like trying to stop war, trying to change our ways. 
Any solution seems too little, too late, as far as human society goes.

“O troubled dust concealing
An undivided love
The Heart beneath is teaching
To the broken Heart above.” Leonard Cohen. Come Healing

Then I think about the earth and the forests of the earth.

When there’s too many squirrels, forests do what they need to do to slow down the population by collectively stopping the production of cones for however long it takes to bring populations down. Then en mass they produce a bumper crop, dropping seeds unmolested on the waiting forest floor. When there are too many grazing animals the grasslands turn bitter and biting flies drive the herds along. The earth knows when things are unbalanced.

Each season prepares for the season to follow, each creature, plant, mineral finds it’s place in balance with everything else. It is a divine dance, beautifully choreographed that has maintained the checks and balances of life on earth forever. There is an intelligent system of life on this planet and I am sure it is very aware of we humans and how ignorant and clumsy we are.

“Now, Suzanne takes your hand and she leads you to the river
She’s wearing rags and feathers from Salvation Army counters
And the sun pours down like honey on our lady of the harbour
And she shows you where to look among the garbage and the flowers
There are heroes in the seaweed, there are children in the morning
They are leaning out for love and they will lean that way forever
While Suzanne holds her mirror”. Leonard Cohen. Suzanne.

I realize I don’t have to make these decisions, anything I can think of has already been implemented. I don’t have to know the answers, the earth knows what it’s doing and I can trust the ecosystem of this planet to do whatever it needs to do in the bringing of balance. All I have to do is be here and aware and live the best I can as part of an elegant and intricate system of life called Earth.

I can bear witness. I can feed the good fires.
I can do my best to live my life as well as I can.
It’s all I can do.
It is all any one of us can do.

“The kind of work I like is the evidence of life lived, rather than some kind of abstracted conclusion of how things might be. I see a song as the ashes of existence, and if there is a light there, and you can warm yourself by it. It isn’t an intellectual construction — it’s more like a footprint that you can stick your own foot in. Or a spike on which you can impale yourself.”  Leonard Cohen

I hope you can make some sense, find some warmth, a spark, or an alchemy of thought in this little pile of ashes from my morning fire.


Oh Alabama, The devil fools with the best laid plan.

lantern1The statistics of the Alabama election of ‘who voted for who’ is very telling and bears some discussion if we are going to heal the evils of our infantile civilizations here in the ‘west’.
It appears that the divisions instilled in us all by the colonial, patriarchal mindset are in the spotlight of our collective psyche, and those who have been, and in many cases still are in denial of these issues are appearing vulnerable and destabilized.

Their backlash, their scramble to align with illusionary reality projections are shocking to those who have been awake to the ills of North American societies.
We are dumbfounded that a man with a track record like Mr. Moore would possibly even consider running for public office.
We are shocked that he believed it did not matter his racist, fundamentalist fringe Christian attitudes, misogynist remarks, and numerous allegations of pedophilia and rape, that he believed he would be acceptable to the Alabama people.
I am surprised at how shocked we are considering who was elected into the top position of power, the golden calf moneylender and grand master of illusion himself Mr. Trump, with the evil lord Bannon right there beside them both.

It was a sigh of relief to much of white society when Alabama did not elect a white supremacist misogynist, because it gave us hope that we are not as bad as we seem!
But have a look at the statistics. (yes in USA they take note of your race when you vote!)
72% of the white male voters thought that this was OK, Moore was their man.
63% of white women also thought it was OK to vote for him, and did.
2% of black women thought he was their man
and 7% of Black men thought he was good to go.

Education played a factor, the less education one had the more likely they voted for Moore, and the younger generation turned out not in favour of such a man.
What these statistics tell me is that the general older white generation is still holding the Draconian principals as their own, holding tight to the colonial, misogynist and racist attitudes that are killing our planet.

This is the demographic that has to heal.
Interestingly I believe we have collectively thought that the First Nations and People Of Colour who have suffered such a brutal history at the hands of the white community were the ones that needed healing, they after all are the peoples still reeling from the continued waves of annihilation they and their ancestors have been subjected to at the hands of white people.
But I have noticed that although for sure there is incredible healing needed in these segregated communities, it is the white communities that really need to heal.
It is within these communities you find the belief systems of having ‘dominion over the earth’, that the natural order of things is a hierarchy, and that order is white men on top with a distinct colour and gender coded social system in place with firmly held boundaries. The corruption of Christianity, the homophobia and the outright misogyny, especially towards non white women has a sickly oder about it.

It is a very disturbing and false reality that is been held by the mainstream white mentality, an idea of ourselves as helpful saviours bringing our superior ways and religions to the dark masses, an erroneous attitude of white supremacy that does not recognize the patterns put in place by the English, Spanish, French and Portuguese invaders that came here to North America.
The multiple acts of genocide committed that destroyed ancient civilizations and killed millions of people, stealing the land and resources and setting up shop for all the unwanted peoples of Europe to inhabit, mine, farm, deforest and destroy are until recently utterly ignored by white mainstream society.
When they could not enslave the original peoples here in North America like they did in South and Central America, (where slavery was already a part of their history), they killed them off and brought in people they stole from Africa and enticed from Asia to work as slaves to their white supremacist ideals, building the infrastructure that has allowed prosperity for so many families, white families.

There has been plenty written about why poor, uneducated white people believe the narrative of men like Moore and Trump.
I do not need to retell the stories psychologists and social science have been presenting.
The broken promise of a chance to be king of the hill, or to rise up beside the new kings, Adam’s rib and all, still holds power in the illusion of democracy that has become our societal norm.
The rich are still in power as it has been in Europe for centuries since the great Roman invasion, and the poor are still held in economic slavery with the false promise of an opportunity to get a leg up, despite the laws and structures of society blocking them in every attempt made.
They do not see this for themselves, so locked in to the dysfunctional system, but follow the pointed finger of the ‘draconian powers that are’ and blame whichever group is handy, be it black, First Nations, or non white immigrants.

Ohh I can feel the #notallwhitepeople already gearing up, yes it is uncomfortable to look at this pattern we live by, but we must.
This has to heal if we are to survive as a human race on this planet.
As a white woman I have been asked to look at the patterns of belief I have inherited and continued within my own life and it has been very uncomfortable, but so liberating to take them apart and release them from my very being.
I know I wanted to squirm away from the guilt and discomfort looking at my white ancestors and myself and it is very awkward noticing it among my white friends and family.
I have upset some people, speaking up when I hear unconscious racism and misogyny or witness the imprinted attitudes as they come across in social discourse, even though I am being as gentle as I can.
I have learned that there is a very strong foundation for calling us ‘snowflakes’. The ‘I don’t want to look at it, I don’t want to know, it is too painful for me’ attitude is intense!
Love and light, unicorns and rainbows, is a decidedly white privilege attitude.

So far in raising issues in social media for discussion I have been insulted, told to take a valium, contain my rage, called a bully, told I was baiting people, was not behaving as a ‘proper spiritual leader’ and ‘unfriended’ blocked and publicly shamed, one going as far as posting on his timeline that he will not associate with me, because I have made a commitment to address the white community of which I am a part.
Sadder still, most of my social media community consider themselves spiritually evolved!These were a very small minority of responders to my posts, maybe 5% in all, mostly male and all of them white, yet they took up quite a bit of space on my time line and in my attention.
I have decided to handle this small percentage differently in the future, after all, they have plenty of resources to educate themselves with if they choose. I want to talk to those who want to heal this, not keep it in place.
The 95% who were able to have an adult conversation without insulting me gave me hope for our community to evolve.
So many people private messaged me after some of these discourses on Cultural Appropriation, Male Backlash to #metoo, Speaking up and Speaking out, Setting Boundaries against fundamentalist religion, that I realized how afraid many are to publicly share their stance against that Draconian backlash.

The historic witch hunts and deadly misogynist imprints from European culture, the horrendous brutality of colonization, and the statistics of how many women of all races and socio economic backgrounds are murdered, along with the killing and incarceration of huge numbers of POC and First Nations identified peoples create a real threat to speaking up, so heavily imprinted with terror are we.
I have the privilege this lifetime of no longer being afraid to speak out because of having the incredible opportunity of healing much of those imprints within myself, so I will continue to speak up and speak out, and I will use my magic power of delete for any insulting, racist or misogynist comments from now on.

The majority of white voters in Alabama have let us know, we have to tackle this in white communities if we are ever going to be free.
Speak up. Stand up. Add your voice to the collective consciousness so we can heal it. Please, for life’s sake.

Statistics from the Washington Post.
Title from Neil Young ‘Alabama’


How To Jump Realities

We are all in this together

as the bombs drop
Atomic bombs
Barrel bombs
Cancer bombs
Drug Addiction…bombs…

As mothers in affluent America
pay their grown children’s Rehab fees
as ones in Vancouver
bury their 14 year old daughters,

…dealers in Columbia
give up the trade.
Pledging to the children
of tomorrows villages,
they form a new government
with no more cocaine.

Realities shift.

Behind the scenes
groups of elders and healers meet
in ancient ceremony
repairing the broken threads
of humanity.

Have we forgotten who we are?

There are sacred elders everywhere…
of all ages.

We witness the legacies of the gap
Hell on earth
the screams of children
ricochet across the wailing of Mothers
and deeply moaning menfolk…

Pain. Misery. Hopelessness.

The Earth cries out to the heavens it seems.
and we wonder
Is anyone listening?

what if
The earth
Our Mother
in her deepest longing for our peace
has held all that contaminates the beauty of our universe
all the sickness of body mind and soul
so that we may each remove our light
from those patterns of hell.

It is not the earth herself that holds these patterns
but she gives them form
and I have often wondered why.

I think, they are here so we can heal them.

The elders of this land
where I am writing
say that every breath we leave behind is a piece of us.
Like a comet streaming through time I imagine it.
Our tail of thoughts and deeds lit up behind us as we orbit through our journey of life.

As above so below, just as the stardust formed our DNA patterns
perhaps our thoughts and deeds form the patterns of reality
yet to be expressed.
So many elders tell us that our today is made of our yesterdays.
Our ancestors shaped our awareness and our accessibility to life,
just as we today are shaping the future
of our grandchildren.

We need to heal some of the realities we have created.
I believe these patterns can only exist where we feed them,
whether with our fears or our joys.

Just like stocks in a stock market
if nobody buys it
the company ceases to exist.
If no one buys cocaine
there is no cocaine trafficking.
If men respect women
there is no rape culture.

We collectively feed the realities that are present on earth
and we need to choose what we feed.
We need to get our personal light out of the addiction
the racism, the hatred, the sickness
wherever we have our light in misery and fear
we need to get it out
without denying it.
It is a balancing act best described by the Temperance card, number 14 in the Tarot.

There are many realms co-existing on this planet
and it would be nice if we could lift every being out of the bad ones
and focus on making good ones
for everyone.

We all have everything within us, every potential.
From the worst depravity a human being can enact to the kindest act of wisdom.
We are made of all of it.
We can choose where we operate from, with every breath.
Courage, honesty, integrity, wisdom, love, truth and respect
can be found in every realm if we look for it.
These are the precious stones that offer foothold
under the turbulent waters
of the rivers we must sometimes cross.

That I think, is how we jump realities.

The problem has been as I see it
we keep trying to start over
revolution to revolution
but we keep building on the same principals..
like colonialism.

We carry our sicknesses with us.

We are here
in whatever circumstances we are in
to get our light out of the gap
and back into the love.
We are all in this together.
To heal humanity
we need to heal the places of hell
temperancewherever we find ourselves in them.

(c) Krow Fischer

Syrian Refugees

What does the Syrian refugee crisis say about the state of the world?
… is a question asked asked at the Group Session in Wasaga Beach a while back.

You can hear the whole thing on

This was right after we recorded the topic of Climate Change at Deanne and the Wasaga Area gang are always hearing the topics in the ethers, before Wendy and I do sometimes! So no miracle that her topic for the evening dovetailed with this month’s CD.

‘That you have lost your compassion’, he answered, ‘Everything has become abstract, something over there.

‘You are going to be having to really look at humanity on the earth for the next little while. As you are witnessing the changes with your climate and you are heading into some serious problems about food, about climate, you are going to have climate refugees. You are going to have to re-look at where there are good safe places that humanity can live on the planet and where are places where humanity is no longer able to live.

You are going to have to start thinking of yourselves as a global community of human beings,
stop dividing yourselves up and colour coding yourselves. Start thinking of yourselves as brothers and sisters of earth and start looking at how can we begin to change the way we are living together on this planet.
You have a whole bunch of people who can no longer be sustained by their land….’
is how that long answer began.

Sunday night, back home Dave and I had a movie night and watched ‘Interstellar’. I had read the reviews and thought it may be an OK movie on an off night. Not really into the ‘end of the world’ kind of stuff, but we could try it. This oscar awarded movie takes place as climate change creates the right scenario for blight to wipe out mono crop after mono crop. Surely by that future time farmers would be back to healthy farming, we already know where GMO, industrial farming and mono cropping leads. Surely we are already turning that corner, but maybe the writers and directors only know this way of farming and assume that is the way it will always be… but I digress.Where I differed from the projections of the writers, I am also ‘hats off’ to all the layers of understanding woven through the plot. Love. Love is the source code of this Universe. Love is what we all relate with, that which connects us up to all dimensions of best intentions.

Gravity is the magnetic energy of the universe, the voice of the Mother, that which holds it all together. The love bond between father and son, father and daughter that glues the universe together, the love of higher dimensional beings, the love of a good woman and a good man. The love of the earth telling her children that it is too late and they must leave…. 

Please. Let’s not go there.

Lets not take earth to the brink of extinction for humanity, as portrayed in this movie.
Lets head it off now and start to care for each other and the earth and shape shift this reality to one of ecological sanity, deep ecology, love and caring for all, all our brothers and sisters, human and non human.

Lets look after the water, the air, the land and each other.

We have a huge job ahead, so we need to step out of the guilt that keeps us in lethargy and leap into responsibility.
We can make a difference through the simple practices available to us in each day and in the heroic ways, when we are called upon to take some form of action. When we make a commitment to ourselves and to future generations, the earth will show us what we each can do to help. Pay attention to what you are asked to do and do it whenever you can.

Why We Must Stand with Standing Rock

Version 7
I had a vision once, years ago. I saw domed pods with underground connections set in barren landscapes. The sky seeped a burnt orange, not enough light for the thorny scraggly plants to flourish.

The domes were climate controlled and plants grew inside to create oxygen.Greenhouses spanned acres of land where food supplies were grown in chemical water under artificial lights when the skies were darkened.

‘Meat’ was grown in the underground labs,as there was not enough plant matter to sustain animals for food.

Agricultural workers lived in underground units within the greenhouse structures where they were paid in rations of the food they produced. If they had a crop failure, they did not eat either.Incentive to produce.

Occasionally, when they were over quota, they traded with ‘the others’ for illicit drugs, prostitution or art. Some of them had ‘arrangements’ with Pod people to get such ’goods and services’ for them.

They made up most of the work force, and it was one of the healthier places to live, outside the pods. All food was owned by the food cartel and was carefully controlled.

Wild animals were dying out though a few species were thriving. Cockroaches, earwigs, cats, rats, raccoons and coyotes had explosive populations in what was once the Americas.

Food was transported through underground tracks that led from pod to pod and into the greenhouse, laboratories and work stations that made goods for ‘the people’.

You could not breathe for long in the toxic landscape and the hungry hoards who scratched existence from what was left of the bombed out cities were less human than ever.
PTSD and psychosis from drug use was the biggest killer in those gang run ‘hold outs’ on the planet. These were ‘the others’. A life span there was 23 years on average.

No one went there willingly, but some said they were the last of the free ones.

Most humans lived in barracks and worked for one of the five major corporations that existed as government.

You could earn your way into a pod even if you were not from the right family or place in the world, but there was fierce competition. ‘The workers’ they were known as. Production of goods was the fourth largest cartel and they made anything the pod people desired.

Every day mobs of people lined up in front of the gated work communities hoping to be picked for a chance to survive. Some said it was ‘natural selection’.
Those that could work hard and add something innovative had the chance to live longer.

No one anywhere wanted to have kids anymore.

There were rumours of other places on the planet secret places where civilizations thrived still but no one had any proof of their existence.

Life was boring in the fancy pods.

Movies and most communication took place through computer-type devices and the entertainment world was the second biggest industry on the planet. Distraction.

You couldn’t go outside without endangering your health so whole worlds were invented for the mind to explore.Nothing real, just carefully orchestrated fantasy.

Life could be extended indefinitely if you could afford it but suicide rates were a real problem in all three known worlds.

Drugs were available for any mood you wanted to create and were free for those living in the pods. Workers could trade work or food shares for drugs and ‘the others’ could beg for drugs, or make toxic versions themselves.

The third largest industry, the pharmaceutical cartel, managed health and moods. They clamped down on illegal drug makers but the death penalty did not stop the labs in the bombed out remains of the old world from making stuff that killed the spirit and numbed the senses, just like the Pharma cartel was doing, only deadlier.

Most resources by far were put into trying to colonize Mars but that had faced many setbacks over the decades and the last ship had left over 20 years ago.

Some said the super rich were already there with their selected clones but hope still persisted amidst the dome people that someday they would get there too.
That was their only hope.

It was a terrible vision, an ugly vision, a warning.

Some of us know that this is a moment in human history when we must fight.
We must draw upon our wisest warrior selves.
We must draw upon our basic humanity and we must heal our humanity.

We must NOT allow reality to manifest this vision.
We must fight against it with every breath we still have.

The corporate reality, the beast of the machine, must be confronted in every aspect of our lives that it has control.
We must stop being dependent.
We must learn to live without the beast.

Every one of us has had a moment in our ancestry when colonization removed us from the land, from our own spirit and forced us to become part of a collective.
Wars, mines, factories and office buildings, we were forced from the land and enslaved in the makings of fortunes of others.

For many, that happened so long ago we have forgotten we have ever been free.
For others, this was recent enough in history that reclamation of spirit is moving fast.

How do we reclaim our spirit, our connection to the earth, our remembering of who we are?

How do we get there before we become part of this vision of hell?

I believe it is an individual journey.

We are at that point in history where we can keep riding that arrogant machine of fear and hatred into that hell future or we can get off the train and start making peaceful camps and a new world.

We must find in ourselves the love of this planet, the love of humanity and we must build a new world based on that love.

We do not have to head towards that hell. We can build a new way together, and we must.

We also have available to us the accumulated wisdom of thousands of generations of people from every climate and landscape this planet offers.
We know by now what works, what makes a healthy community,a healthy mind and body.
We have all this knowledge, we only need the will.

It is time to become the earth warriors we were born to be.
It is not too late
it is just on time.

© Krow Fischer

Knee Jerk

March 2016

Hello? Calling out to the stars? The heavens? Is there anyone out there tonight?

I am writing on a large atlas on my lap because I heard that the radiation from a computer can harm the delicate cells of our bodies. They call them laptops but they are apparently dangerous to hold on your lap. I am hoping this thick atlas, pages and pages of drawings of places on the planet, will protect my legs. It is ridiculous isn’t it? We have created such interesting technologies, but we know so little about looking after our biology.

There are a lot of things going on on the planet that don’t make sense, if you are expecting everyone to be grown ups.
If you don’t expect maturity and you think that most of us do not have a clue why we do whatever it is we do, then you can understand how things can get so very messed up. I suspect you know this, who or whatever you are.

I wanted there to be adults who would be responsible out there in the world at large.

Maybe I wanted a God, or at least a Government to take care of everything so I would not have to deal with this mess we made. Wouldn’t it be mice if we could just go about enjoying life?

I want you, imagined beings of the stars, to be a superior race of beings who could come here and fix our atmosphere and water; show us how to clean up radiation and oil spills and manage our generations long feuds.

I want you to come and help humans evolve and stop destroying everything.
I know you won’t, but I can’t help it.

Knee jerk reaction.

Do you know what that is? It is an involuntary response, something few of us have any control over. If you hit a spot on your knee, your leg jerks forward, unless you have some nerve damage of course.

Most of our human body runs on these kinds of involuntary responses. We don’t even think of what goes on to keep us here; we are not very conscious of how our body is operating and we have very little control over most of our bodily functions. It lives and dies, breathes and pees, fights off invading infections and harbors nasty cancer cells without us being the least bit aware of what is going on.

Our societies seem run like that as well. You must just shake your heads at us, assuming you have heads.

As far as I can tell, most societies here are run on the dysfunctional imprints unconsciously passed down through generations. We pick up wherever the last generation left off and continue on accordingly. Sometimes there is a momentary flare up of rebellion, but usually things go right back to the same patterns pretty quickly, if the pattern has been in place enough generations. The same wars continue generation after generation with the same grievances.
People here know this, they will tell you, ‘History repeats itself’, and ‘The apple does not fall far from the tree’. This knowledge is peppered through our languages, but nobody seems to actually understand this.
It is another one of those things that just does not make sense. We know we keep repeating the same mistakes but we don’t do much to change that, collectively anyway.
It seems like we cannot manage this change ourselves, but we do not want anyone telling us what to do. Tyranny has been and still is a huge issue in humanity.

Once I started noticing how much of what we do is ‘knee jerk’ involuntary, I decided I was going to start unhooking my automatic responses, retrain my reflexes to respond differently. You have no idea how easy it is to retrain ourselves, almost scary how easy it really is once you start working on it.

There are monks here on the planet who can  change heart rates and blood pressure, and can raise and lower their temperature, through intention. We have whole sections of society that get looked after by their communities so that they can spend time practicing stuff like that. Shamans, healers, mystics, gurus, monks and nuns, many can spend a lifetime learning this stuff, lifetimes some will tell you. This always requires someone else to grow the food, fetch the water and looks after them financially.
Not everyone gets to spend their life learning to be a master, but some hospitals are using these techniques, some have learned to help heart and lung patients, people with health issues, pain management. I suppose it does go to good use, all that learning.

I am not a ‘kept’ person, I don’t have as much time on my hands as those guys do, so I have to start small, noticing the social conditioning I have, and changing it.
There are a lot of ‘knee jerks’ to pay attention to. I’ll keep you posted if you are interested. You may want to know these things in case any of you are planning to incarnate here. We are in a bit of a crisis right now though, we humans… I would wait to see how this all turns out right now if I were you.

Being Human in a Less Humane World

IMG_0430Letters from Earth

It’s really, really hard to be human, much harder than we give ourselves credit for. It is particularly hard to be alive on earth today.

I thought we were suppose to be evolving, that is the mind set I had about life here on the planet. Yet billions of people struggle with fear, shame, poverty, violence and hopelessness. It doesn’t matter how many lives you’ve lived or where and when you’ve lived them; you will suffer some random event that will cause you pain at least once in a lifetime. For many alive today, pain is their most common experience.

There aren’t that many happy stories here on the planet right now. There are more people homeless and hungry, living in fear, poverty and misery than ever before.

More are killed by wars and violence than at any other time in human history, we are murdering millions this year alone with our dynamic new war machines, killing devices run by trigger happy ‘gamers’ trained since childhood to find the enemy in every ‘other’. It is really scary to hear people talking about ‘bombing the crap out of them’ bombing them into extinction’ when talking about other humans. The sport of hunting animals to extinction that has gone on in many cultures is also seen in war against humans. Violence against children, elders and vulnerable women and men is epidemic in many cultures around the world.

We have more slaves now than ever before; economic, political and religious slavery not withstanding. Mining, fishing, lumber and agriculture industries use slavery including child slavery and the slavery of domestic workers is what keeps the world economy thriving. The sex industry regularly buys and sells it’s boys and girls at market prices, and you can buy or rent a human of any age in pretty much any country.

We throw out truckloads of food while desperate people starve to death on prime time TV. We have more than enough food, and we know how to feed ourselves, but we don’t. We rely on corporations to feed us, gluttonously, in some parts of the world, and “barely get by on what we can scrounge” in other places.

We have more droughts and floods, tornadoes and hurricanes, tidal waves and earth quakes of greater and greater magnitude. We continue blowing holes in the earth’s crust despite these side effects, to get more oil, just to add more carbon to the atmosphere. We are hell bent on destroy it all, taking it with us when we go it seems. ‘If we can’t have it no one will’ is a popular earth phrase in many languages and I see this attitude in many a corporate action.

Some religions say ‘it is meant to be this way’ because someone prophesied it at some time in history, or someone said they did.

Some say that is because we are suppose to know sadness to know joy, hate to know love, pain to know pleasure as if our nervous systems are designed to function through extremes. Give candy when good, cause pain when bad, spare the rod, spoil the child, we truly believe we learn best through fear and pain despite any and all research that proves otherwise. Personal parenting experience for thousands of generations of knowing that love and kindness is the best teacher, is ignored in this kind of logic.

Some say we are here to learn of the suffering and require it to evolve! We must survive and learn the lessons to pass on to the next level they say; like some kind of school with a sadistic head master or a cosmic video game designed by a group of discarnate nerds in the sky. As if we are trapped in a virtual program meant to fast forward our spiritual growth and development, guided by some techno team setting the software for earth’s evolution. People believe some strange things on earth today. You would be shocked, I am sure, at the ridiculous assertions we hear from our Gurus and religious leaders. Some say a band of angels are really in control here, but they can’t interfere with or personal lessons.

Some believe that good people get rewarded and bad people get punished and if bad things are happening, you must have in some incarnation been bad. You deserve it, the pain, the betrayal, the violence, the illness, all brought on by something bad or wrong you did at some point.

Some say Earth is ruled by a species of lizard who don human form to fool us. They spray the air with neuro-toxins to keep the real humans stupid while they gobble up all our resources. They own all the land and control all the money and keep it all in their elite families they say. They say the Queen of England is one of them and all her decedents.
I would think the ravens of the tower would know if she was human or not.

You would not believe the things people believe here. I am guessing maybe we are trying to justify, to make sense of the senseless horror too many here suffer.

I am not sure how it all works, but most of the theories seem rather silly to me.

I used to think if people knew what was going on in our world, if they had access to knowledge, to teachers and philosophers and could educate themselves they would make different choices. I thought if people knew about each other they would help each other. If you knew your neighbour was in trouble you would help, wouldn’t you?

I think a lot of us thought if we could make information and communication accessible to more people, we would become enlightened and would make a better world together. So many dedicated their lives and still work tirelessly to make education available to all people because we believe education and knowledge is the power that could free us from the cycles of pain here.

More information IS available for most people; you can ‘google’ anything you are curious about and just as many more lies and distractions will be dredged up with the goods. We wrote the whole internet after all. It is a place filled with all our knowledge and our fantasies and falsehoods too.

Our school systems teach what each society wants it’s children to learn and we have societies where children grow up not knowing anything about anyone other than who they can see in their own world. Many are taught lies or skewed views of history and are not allowed to access world information. Education has become a tool in the hands of tyrants in many places.

More accessible communication is also matched by more mass misinformation, innuendo and threatening comments trolling every truth teller. ‘Be careful whom you talk to, and who you listen to’ is a brutal truth in many lands. You can be killed for knowing too much, and there are companies who are hired to put out distractions and to feed lies into the information system to distract people from ugly truths some companies and governments don’t want us looking too closely at.

No one has been saved despite education, religion and all the gathered wisdom we have on this planet.

I think that most religions and beliefs are just bull shit, a way we have of dealing with what we experience, trying to rationalize it by appointing some higher power cause and effect over our lives. I believe we have made up stories we tell ourselves for why there is so much pain involved in being human. I think we create what we believe, over and over and over again.

We believe in good and evil and desperately try to align with one side, whichever one is offering the best deal of the time. Inquisition, KKK, Boko Hiram, ISIS, Nazi, They all believe that ‘God’ is on their side, and will die for that god and the promises made for after death.

Our brains have organized themselves in many societies, to ‘mark’ experiences as either positive or negative, pain or pleasure. we believe this is how brains operate, but I wonder if this is just how we have trained them to be. After all, all studies have been done on people from similar upbringings, so how would we know what our brains are capable of as far as sorting experiences? I expect duality thinking is trained, not natural.

We all think violence is inherent in humanity and that we need war or we would be over populated here. We tend to believe the worst in each other, that at our core we are violent and greedy beings. We have a lot of self hatred issues, we humans.
We do not believe in the human race, we believe that humanity is at root greedy and vengeful, rapists and murderers looking for personal power and pleasure, and we choose literature and movies and television shows that depicts this belief for our children to be raised on. How many generations of North American kids had to read Lord of the Flies, or Catcher in the Rye, The Day No Pigs Would Die, strange mythologies to teach our children about life!

Although many of us truly despise what we see acted out all around us, flashing across CNN and paraded on the streets of every nation, the violence, callousness and corruption is such an intricate part of our lives we believe it is normal. We continue to make movies and televisions shows glorifying war and violence, colonialism and sexism, all accepting this way of being as true human values.

I think many people are so ashamed to be human, that we hate ourselves and everyone else. Self hatred is so bad it turns in on us and we become all that we hated in others, we became the hate. The colonized become the colonizers, those treated with violence become violent, the repressed become the oppressors, all of us acting out our coping strategies for survival.

This is so true for many, but not all. Every now and then pockets of people rise above this status quo and act in decent and rational ways. We see them as heroes and share their wise words with each other. We also fear for their lives as many are murdered.

I watch people when I am in towns and cities. I wonder if you watch us from out there?

People stumbling along, many very overweight, legs jutting woodenly, heads jerking forward; the effort of pushing and pulling their body along wearing them down. There is no bounce in their step, no lightness of being, life is a struggle, a painful struggle.

I see faces lined with worry, mouths talking into hidden microphones, buds in the ear, distracting, engaging with something that feels more real than what the moment has to offer.
Eyes riveted to the screen, streams of bodies wrapped in winter garments waft by on the periphery, dodging each others’ mortal existence.

Juxtaposed on the giant screen street-side in every big city are waves of Syrian, Afghan, Sudanese and Iraqi people fleeing rubble filled lands on ABC and CBC ‘Please let us in’ pleading the airwaves as infants die in the cold waters of apathy.

What have we become?

‘I just want a normal life’ I hear people say. ‘Have a home, have kids, have a job, grow old’.

What does that even mean? Is there any sane reason why only some people have access to everything while others have nothing?
Why am I still seeking reason within insanity?

How many people walk around in this apathetic sleep state? Most of us here it seems, yet I can’t fault everyone, it is too much to bear for most of us.

We want it to go away, all the pain, all the wars, all the misery. We want it to be nice here, friendly and good for all. We do not want to really see the world we have made. It is too hard to look at it and too overwhelming to feel.
We shut down our empathy, shut down our telepathy and harden ourselves to the brutality of most people’s lives.
It’s their fault they suffer. It must be, we tell ourselves smugly to keep from feeling.

They are dying out there. Overflowing hospitals filled with the sick, our new environment killing us. Children are born sick and diseased everywhere we live within polluted lands, water and air and food. Millions of people flee war, terrorism, drought and pestilence, risking their last bits of life for the hope of something better somewhere else.

Raving tyrannical politicians promise a hero’s way out, for the chosen ones, obliteration for the enemies, prime time.
We are afraid, we humans.
We are afraid of the future we are making.

Meanwhile, I am here in the forest, sipping tea, writing stories, keeping the winter fire going, watching the final blossom fall off a white orchid, waiting for spring.

We are alive. Maybe that is enough.

Apollo’s Creed

Hello out there.
It’s me again.
I have been thinking about our last conversation, where you said nothing.

Sometimes it feels like I am communicating through a Bliss Board, one of those devices with limited choices of images,when there is so much to talk about,so many questions I have to ask.

I know, my questions evoke the answers.

Lots of answers float around, ideas of the why and how of things.
I believed they were my own thoughts,
until I wondered where I had gotten them from.

Interestingly, there were always a few answers; some made sense, some were ridiculous or paranoid, and some were brilliant.

I had to learn to differentiate between the thoughts, see how I felt about them, what ‘voice’ they had in my mind. I sensed some thoughts came from things I was afraid of, unresolved fears and anxieties, those I kept on the periphery where I could keep an eye on them.

The human psyche is interesting, and we have not explored much of it yet.

I came to believe some thoughts came from you,
or the me that is you,
or however it works. 
How else can we can see ourselves from so far away?

Some say it is a walk on the edge of madness,
trying to talk to you out there,
but somehow,
I know I have done this before and I think I know the way.

I have so many questions.

Is it that we choose what thoughts we have from a collective pool of our every day experience as psychologists suggest?

Do we have the experiences of our ancestors as well to draw from as so many of us believe, coded in the blood, the bones, the DNA?

Do we also have access to other people’s knowledge, as some savants demonstrated?

Or is it all this and more..

of course.

We are so complex, we humans.
We have no idea of what we are capable of.
Yet with all that we are, we are so ensnared by something that we can’t see.

I hope you understand, we need help.

I am trying to communicate to you through this Bliss Board of human experience,
collective imagery and beliefs,
hoping you will understand more than I can say.

I wrote a poem back in 2003, one of the inspired ones,
the ones that write themselves so quick you can barely type fast enough to catch it all.
I love when that happens. I wrote it to this prompt.

“Poetry is finer and more philosophical than history; for poetry expresses the universal, and history only the particular.” ~Aristotle~

An old Greek guy who died 2400 years ago said this. It made me want to try to write a poem about a particular thread of human history from a more universal view point.

I think we can express both and sometimes poetry is the only way both can be expressed.

‘For those with eyes to see, and ears to hear’ they say.

I think it’s for those who are looking and listening is all.

I hope you can hear me, I hope it’s you I am hearing.

Here’s my poem

Appollo’s Creed
mistaking Mithras’ intention
weighed in upon the temples of mercy
where Zeus beheld Hera
in highest esteem
but wavered
in judgement

Rape and pillage
as leader bequeathed leader
the right of the mighty
Ships of knights
in passing,
judged not

Stories told by the victors
were left
where the living may find them

Damnation and hell-fire
who’s tale to tell
in the final moment
of life between life?

Spires rise higher
and spiral out of control
of the masses
performing for millennia
the practice of patience
and redemption

Hope of the hopeless abide
and hide in a new world
where fortune is found
and fought over

Picket fence and union dues
subdue the natives…
who are restless.

Ancestors ghost dance a future
out of a past
that was mistaken
for another world.

Taking it apart for contextual information.
This bliss board is clumsy and I will have to define some of the imagery.
I know I didn’t get it all.

First verse.

Apollo’s creed ..Rocky movie reference, the fighter beaten by the underdog, Apollo, sun god of the Romans, the one god of war and vengeance, beaten out and replaced by the son of god of the Judaeo Christian belief system. Sun god replaced by son of god.

Mithra, Greek god who’s touch turned everything to gold, Mithra’s intention to accumulate as many riches as possible backfired. Today’s people think of Mithra’s touch as someone who can turn anything into money, few get the moral of the story, as everything he touched turned to gold he could no longer interact with people, or feel anything. It was a curse, not a gift, a curse that continues on in the civilization that bred out of that ancient time. We are not heeding the warnings the poets left us, and are cycling through the same stories still.

Zeus and Hera, equal partners in ruling civilization, king and queen, god and goddess and the decline from equality. From here that Mediterranean civilization tumbled down into to misogyny and patriarchy where it’s philosophy is still holding women in bondage today.

Second Verse
The spin off into fighting for the holy lands, knights of templar, missionaries, masons and the whole progression of the idea of groups of warriors fighting for a god. The rape and pillage of whole civilizations while presenting as being servants of something holy is common. In actuality these warriors are in service to whatever king, emperor, or corporate hierarchy is currently in control of the coffers of whatever church they put into power. War, rape and pillage, disguised as spreading democracy or protecting a ‘way of life’ is still the same technique of submission used today to gain control of oil, gold, lumber, agricultural land or whatever riches the few in charge covet.

Third Verse
Our collective history is a fiction written by the war winners. Look at which histories and which pieces of history are taught in our respective school systems. Most of what we are taught are lies. Christopher Columbus did not discover America.

Fourth Verse
The religious fear of hell holding people mesmerized into obedience and fanaticism, taking sides in religious wars fighting for control of the soul. This insanity is spreading across the planet, again.

After death when it is realized how easy it was to be sucked into a collective consciousness, losing your own sense of self, there is a time of awareness and resolve.
We take time between lives gaining perspective only to incarnate back into the cycle of life, with the risk of losing one’s self again into the craziness of that collectively created reality of the European/Middle Eastern patriarchal lineage that have affected many North American’s consciousness.

In big cities of business, corporations fight over who will have the tallest building on the horizon, but the highest peak of our ancestors villages, and many still today, is the cross of the Christian church. Over and over we go repeating the same insanity, trying again to make it work. We come up with all kinds of reasons why we keep spiraling, believing it must be so.

Fifth Verse
The exodus from Europe to ‘The new world” seeking a way to start over, yet really just re-creating the same crazy system, and doing the same thing to the people here as was done by Apollo’s followers of Rome.

Sixth Verse
The picket fence is the American Dream of owning property, a luxury denied back home. Unions and rebellions uniting as one people for a common cause, and paying into whoever holds the coffers now. Assimilate.
But the original people here are different and are not so easily subdued. No matter how much the European way is imposed, dictated, blanketed over, there are stirrings underneath, rustlings of something untamed. They are not going away any time soon.

Seventh Verse
The ancestors of the Americas had different ceremonies and understandings of reality and are not so easily incorporated into the European Sun God collective. It took seven generations of subjugation but the healing begins.
This is not Europe, and these people have a different history, and different beliefs about life. The ceremonies once outlawed are coming back.
The Ghost Dance awakens the ancestors, the ancient wisdom that recognizes insanity and works towards healing it.
A shift in the long story of our emergence as humans has begun.