On Being an Elder

I had a moment with my almost three year old grandson yesterday.
I was taking him to the car for our ‘Granny day out’ and he hauled off and hit me across the face, hard. I was shocked and surprised as I have only ever experienced the sweetest of hugs from my little guy.
We continued to the car without a word and I buckled him in his car seat and then facing him, I stroked his down turned face softly and told him that I loved him, his mommy and Dad loved him, his aunties and his PopPop loved him. I listed his Dad’s side of the family too as part of the tribe that loved him, told him we all knew he is having a hard time right now and we all are here to help him with it. I told him, ‘You don’t have to do this all by yourself, all these big feelings and everything, we are all here to help you. We all love you very, very much, you are precious to us’, I told him. His little chin quivered and he heaved a big sigh.

I really meant every word I said, I know that toddlers have the best BS detectors around and if he sensed any insincerity on my part he would let me know it!

We do know he is having a rough time. He is one of those active, (but not hyperactive) kids who love to try things, climb things, check things out. He also does not land on his feet well. Usually he lands on his head.
This has led to doctors and hospitals and naturopaths and sacral cranial appointments and chiropractic intervention. (Yes he is well looked after by smart, well informed parents and is on the right supplements and protocols for healing his bumped brain.)

We know that the last fall off a chair’s ‘goose egg on the forehead’ is still healing and that aggressive behaviour can be part of the fall out.

We also know that there is a new baby sister that takes Mommy’s attention, even with dad at home now. Maybe even worse, this new baby sister and his beloved twin brother seem to have a very special bond. Now I suspect that his future with her is going to be one of best friend and confidant and she already is starting to wrap him around her little finger, so we’re not too worried about that relationship, but he needs our help to adjust to these changes, we the adults in his life.

He needs to know that he has support and safety, that we, his family, will always try to understand and help and that he does not have to handle it all himself.

He needs to know he can get help, even if he cannot yet articulate his emotional and physical needs in the adult ways we seem to expect from children.

I told him that I get grumpy too sometimes, that everybody does and that it is OK to be grumpy. I never said a word about hitting, he already knew it was not OK to hit me and obviously felt bad about that. I did not want him to feel bad. I wanted him to know he would have help and that I as the elder, the adult, could handle any behaviour and that we could work it out.

I went to get his brother to buckle him in and by the time I returned seconds later, he was smiling and talking.

Grand adventures often include mud and water.mudandwater

We had a wonderful day together going on a special outing in the morning to a playgroup where he shared and played with his brother and other friends. He was respectful and kind to the other children and was quite thoughtful and sweet to me.

We came back to our place after lunch (and a nap in the car on the way home), and had a long hike through the woods with lots of games and imaginative play, just the three of us. Ponds, puddles and garden hoses ‘Fireman to the rescue!!” a muddy but fun afternoon.

Supper and another long walk with PopPop, bath, and in pyjamas ready to go back home to bed, he gave me a big hug and told me he loved me.

It was a long day for our little guys but apparently they stayed up late to tell their parents all about what they did, fact and fancy intertwined to tell the ‘real’ stories.

Whatever our little guy was going through that morning he knew that no matter what, he would be loved and included and that his adult people would make sure he was safe, for himself and for others around him.

I have heard his Mom say things to him like, ‘I will not let you throw those toys, if you cannot stop yourself I will help you do that and put them away to keep them safe. We can go get the balls out and you can throw them, but trucks and books are not for throwing.”

I have heard her say ‘I will not let you hurt your brother, if you cannot keep your hands from hitting we will sit over here away from your brother together until you can calm down and play safely.’

She then follows through. These little guys have been raised to know that they are safe, no matter how big their feelings get. Their adults will be, well, adults!

I imagined what it would be like for a child who does not have this kind of familial support, what kinds of patterns of shame and betrayal get imprinted in those tender early brain response pattern.

I did not have to look very far to see the consequences of so many children raised without that support.

In our society and many others, reward and punishment and behavioural modification techniques are what we offer our children instead of love, respect and compassion.

We yell at, hit, isolate and publicly humiliate our children or withdraw our attention and love.

‘I only like you when you are good, when you do what I want.’ we tell them with every action.

We snatch things out of their hands, talk over them and ignore them, threaten and scold them, and force them to conform to whatever schedule we happen to have in place on any given day.

We use bribery, sugar, television, and presents to coerce obedience. Trophies and stickers, the good kids and the bad kids are sorted out in our classrooms and we wonder why so many people in our societies suffer from addictions, low self esteem, over or under-eating and depression. We are shocked at our high suicide rates and overflowing prisons. We wonder why we still have war, murder, poverty and displacement. We wonder why our children are attracted to terrorism and violence.

We have been practicing these dysfunctional ways of raising children for generations and we have a big mess.
Our societies are run the same way our families are run and that should be no surprise! We are co-creators of our social realities and what we collectively believe to be true, no matter how insane that may be, becomes the societal norm.

We punish those with mental or emotional problems, those with addictions and those who do not conform and obey. We reward ‘proper’ behaviour with cars and jobs and martinis and vacations and nice gold watches.

We have a lot of crooks in places of wealth and power who know how to play the game, to modify behaviour to get what they want and we have many creative and innovative people who do not have a voice, because they do not ‘fit’ the status quo. The consequences are devastating. World wide, we are not happy with the way life is going on this planet.

I imagine a world where everyone belongs and knows they will be loved and cared for from day one. I imagine a world where we support each other through our rough periods with compassion and respect, whether in a family, a community, a country or a planet. Is this Pollyanna thinking?

I am not saying it is easy, or instant, but I believe it can shift.

Brotherly love.

It is much easier if these patterns of respect can be in place from early childhood; it is very hard, but not impossible, to change them in an adult mind. Programs like ‘Roots of Empathy’ and early childhood resource centres like the one we visited that morning are aiming us in a healthy direction for those formative years and I believe we need to continue funding these precious resources.

It is much easier to change if our surroundings reflect this respect and compassion, if that is the normal behaviour of our peers, we tend to conform. We are, after all, primates and it is important to feel we belong to our ‘units’.

I have certainly seen this take place many times; participating in a particular music festival that holds strict ideals about cooperative behavior, workshops, retreats or a workplace or play place where the ‘norm’ is inclusiveness, respect and compassion. These healthy environments have a huge affect on people attending. I have seen lives change simply from being immersed in a healthy community, even for just one weekend.

Perhaps that is one thing we can do, continue to role model sane behaviour to our communities and families. We can practice good communication, respect and love in all social situations. Perhaps as we learn to undo the negative conditioning that we were imprinted with, we can assist in the social evolution of those around us and thus our world.
That, after all, is the traditional role of the grandparents, the elders, to pass on societal norms.
For the sake of our precious little ones, we need to at least try to be healthy elders.

(c) Krow Fischer Here On Earth

How To Jump Realities

We are all in this together

as the bombs drop
Atomic bombs
Barrel bombs
Cancer bombs
Drug Addiction…bombs…

As mothers in affluent America
pay their grown children’s Rehab fees
as ones in Vancouver
bury their 14 year old daughters,

…dealers in Columbia
give up the trade.
Pledging to the children
of tomorrows villages,
they form a new government
with no more cocaine.

Realities shift.

Behind the scenes
groups of elders and healers meet
in ancient ceremony
repairing the broken threads
of humanity.

Have we forgotten who we are?

There are sacred elders everywhere…
of all ages.

We witness the legacies of the gap
Hell on earth
the screams of children
ricochet across the wailing of Mothers
and deeply moaning menfolk…

Pain. Misery. Hopelessness.

The Earth cries out to the heavens it seems.
and we wonder
Is anyone listening?

what if
The earth
Our Mother
in her deepest longing for our peace
has held all that contaminates the beauty of our universe
all the sickness of body mind and soul
so that we may each remove our light
from those patterns of hell.

It is not the earth herself that holds these patterns
but she gives them form
and I have often wondered why.

I think, they are here so we can heal them.

The elders of this land
where I am writing
say that every breath we leave behind is a piece of us.
Like a comet streaming through time I imagine it.
Our tail of thoughts and deeds lit up behind us as we orbit through our journey of life.

As above so below, just as the stardust formed our DNA patterns
perhaps our thoughts and deeds form the patterns of reality
yet to be expressed.
So many elders tell us that our today is made of our yesterdays.
Our ancestors shaped our awareness and our accessibility to life,
just as we today are shaping the future
of our grandchildren.

We need to heal some of the realities we have created.
I believe these patterns can only exist where we feed them,
whether with our fears or our joys.

Just like stocks in a stock market
if nobody buys it
the company ceases to exist.
If no one buys cocaine
there is no cocaine trafficking.
If men respect women
there is no rape culture.

We collectively feed the realities that are present on earth
and we need to choose what we feed.
We need to get our personal light out of the addiction
the racism, the hatred, the sickness
wherever we have our light in misery and fear
we need to get it out
without denying it.
It is a balancing act best described by the Temperance card, number 14 in the Tarot.

There are many realms co-existing on this planet
and it would be nice if we could lift every being out of the bad ones
and focus on making good ones
for everyone.

We all have everything within us, every potential.
From the worst depravity a human being can enact to the kindest act of wisdom.
We are made of all of it.
We can choose where we operate from, with every breath.
Courage, honesty, integrity, wisdom, love, truth and respect
can be found in every realm if we look for it.
These are the precious stones that offer foothold
under the turbulent waters
of the rivers we must sometimes cross.

That I think, is how we jump realities.

The problem has been as I see it
we keep trying to start over
revolution to revolution
but we keep building on the same principals..
like colonialism.

We carry our sicknesses with us.

We are here
in whatever circumstances we are in
to get our light out of the gap
and back into the love.
We are all in this together.
To heal humanity
we need to heal the places of hell
temperancewherever we find ourselves in them.

(c) Krow Fischer

Syrian Refugees

What does the Syrian refugee crisis say about the state of the world?
… is a question asked asked at the Group Session in Wasaga Beach a while back.

You can hear the whole thing on Blogtalkradio.com/hereonearth

This was right after we recorded the topic of Climate Change at www.hereonearth.ca. Deanne and the Wasaga Area gang are always hearing the topics in the ethers, before Wendy and I do sometimes! So no miracle that her topic for the evening dovetailed with this month’s CD.

‘That you have lost your compassion’, he answered, ‘Everything has become abstract, something over there.

‘You are going to be having to really look at humanity on the earth for the next little while. As you are witnessing the changes with your climate and you are heading into some serious problems about food, about climate, you are going to have climate refugees. You are going to have to re-look at where there are good safe places that humanity can live on the planet and where are places where humanity is no longer able to live.

You are going to have to start thinking of yourselves as a global community of human beings,
stop dividing yourselves up and colour coding yourselves. Start thinking of yourselves as brothers and sisters of earth and start looking at how can we begin to change the way we are living together on this planet.
You have a whole bunch of people who can no longer be sustained by their land….’
is how that long answer began.

Sunday night, back home Dave and I had a movie night and watched ‘Interstellar’. I had read the reviews and thought it may be an OK movie on an off night. Not really into the ‘end of the world’ kind of stuff, but we could try it. This oscar awarded movie takes place as climate change creates the right scenario for blight to wipe out mono crop after mono crop. Surely by that future time farmers would be back to healthy farming, we already know where GMO, industrial farming and mono cropping leads. Surely we are already turning that corner, but maybe the writers and directors only know this way of farming and assume that is the way it will always be… but I digress.Where I differed from the projections of the writers, I am also ‘hats off’ to all the layers of understanding woven through the plot. Love. Love is the source code of this Universe. Love is what we all relate with, that which connects us up to all dimensions of best intentions.

Gravity is the magnetic energy of the universe, the voice of the Mother, that which holds it all together. The love bond between father and son, father and daughter that glues the universe together, the love of higher dimensional beings, the love of a good woman and a good man. The love of the earth telling her children that it is too late and they must leave…. 

Please. Let’s not go there.

Lets not take earth to the brink of extinction for humanity, as portrayed in this movie.
Lets head it off now and start to care for each other and the earth and shape shift this reality to one of ecological sanity, deep ecology, love and caring for all, all our brothers and sisters, human and non human.

Lets look after the water, the air, the land and each other.

We have a huge job ahead, so we need to step out of the guilt that keeps us in lethargy and leap into responsibility.
We can make a difference through the simple practices available to us in each day and in the heroic ways, when we are called upon to take some form of action. When we make a commitment to ourselves and to future generations, the earth will show us what we each can do to help. Pay attention to what you are asked to do and do it whenever you can.

Why We Must Stand with Standing Rock

Version 7
I had a vision once, years ago. I saw domed pods with underground connections set in barren landscapes. The sky seeped a burnt orange, not enough light for the thorny scraggly plants to flourish.

The domes were climate controlled and plants grew inside to create oxygen.Greenhouses spanned acres of land where food supplies were grown in chemical water under artificial lights when the skies were darkened.

‘Meat’ was grown in the underground labs,as there was not enough plant matter to sustain animals for food.

Agricultural workers lived in underground units within the greenhouse structures where they were paid in rations of the food they produced. If they had a crop failure, they did not eat either.Incentive to produce.

Occasionally, when they were over quota, they traded with ‘the others’ for illicit drugs, prostitution or art. Some of them had ‘arrangements’ with Pod people to get such ’goods and services’ for them.

They made up most of the work force, and it was one of the healthier places to live, outside the pods. All food was owned by the food cartel and was carefully controlled.

Wild animals were dying out though a few species were thriving. Cockroaches, earwigs, cats, rats, raccoons and coyotes had explosive populations in what was once the Americas.

Food was transported through underground tracks that led from pod to pod and into the greenhouse, laboratories and work stations that made goods for ‘the people’.

You could not breathe for long in the toxic landscape and the hungry hoards who scratched existence from what was left of the bombed out cities were less human than ever.
PTSD and psychosis from drug use was the biggest killer in those gang run ‘hold outs’ on the planet. These were ‘the others’. A life span there was 23 years on average.

No one went there willingly, but some said they were the last of the free ones.

Most humans lived in barracks and worked for one of the five major corporations that existed as government.

You could earn your way into a pod even if you were not from the right family or place in the world, but there was fierce competition. ‘The workers’ they were known as. Production of goods was the fourth largest cartel and they made anything the pod people desired.

Every day mobs of people lined up in front of the gated work communities hoping to be picked for a chance to survive. Some said it was ‘natural selection’.
Those that could work hard and add something innovative had the chance to live longer.

No one anywhere wanted to have kids anymore.

There were rumours of other places on the planet secret places where civilizations thrived still but no one had any proof of their existence.

Life was boring in the fancy pods.

Movies and most communication took place through computer-type devices and the entertainment world was the second biggest industry on the planet. Distraction.

You couldn’t go outside without endangering your health so whole worlds were invented for the mind to explore.Nothing real, just carefully orchestrated fantasy.

Life could be extended indefinitely if you could afford it but suicide rates were a real problem in all three known worlds.

Drugs were available for any mood you wanted to create and were free for those living in the pods. Workers could trade work or food shares for drugs and ‘the others’ could beg for drugs, or make toxic versions themselves.

The third largest industry, the pharmaceutical cartel, managed health and moods. They clamped down on illegal drug makers but the death penalty did not stop the labs in the bombed out remains of the old world from making stuff that killed the spirit and numbed the senses, just like the Pharma cartel was doing, only deadlier.

Most resources by far were put into trying to colonize Mars but that had faced many setbacks over the decades and the last ship had left over 20 years ago.

Some said the super rich were already there with their selected clones but hope still persisted amidst the dome people that someday they would get there too.
That was their only hope.

It was a terrible vision, an ugly vision, a warning.

Some of us know that this is a moment in human history when we must fight.
We must draw upon our wisest warrior selves.
We must draw upon our basic humanity and we must heal our humanity.

We must NOT allow reality to manifest this vision.
We must fight against it with every breath we still have.

The corporate reality, the beast of the machine, must be confronted in every aspect of our lives that it has control.
We must stop being dependent.
We must learn to live without the beast.

Every one of us has had a moment in our ancestry when colonization removed us from the land, from our own spirit and forced us to become part of a collective.
Wars, mines, factories and office buildings, we were forced from the land and enslaved in the makings of fortunes of others.

For many, that happened so long ago we have forgotten we have ever been free.
For others, this was recent enough in history that reclamation of spirit is moving fast.

How do we reclaim our spirit, our connection to the earth, our remembering of who we are?

How do we get there before we become part of this vision of hell?

I believe it is an individual journey.

We are at that point in history where we can keep riding that arrogant machine of fear and hatred into that hell future or we can get off the train and start making peaceful camps and a new world.

We must find in ourselves the love of this planet, the love of humanity and we must build a new world based on that love.

We do not have to head towards that hell. We can build a new way together, and we must.

We also have available to us the accumulated wisdom of thousands of generations of people from every climate and landscape this planet offers.
We know by now what works, what makes a healthy community,a healthy mind and body.
We have all this knowledge, we only need the will.

It is time to become the earth warriors we were born to be.
It is not too late
it is just on time.

© Krow Fischer